This isnt a 'how to make lemonade' guide - although perhaps I should write one - but more learning to work with the hand that life has dealt me (or you!).
Like most people, I have had a 'normal' rollercoaster life full of good and bad, ups and downs and sometimes those bad moments have been overwhelming. But my thought process has always been that whenever life throws the crappy stuff at you, you deal with it and you do your best to move on or move forward. Now, moving on looks very different for everyone...some people get stuck where they are, some people move forward but keep returning to the 'event' and some lucky people simply deal with it and walk forward without looking back.
But how?
Many years ago I took an Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) course and for me it was life changing giving me the tools to find a way forward (not back) and to keep moving towards what I want - whether that is emotional stability, happiness, progress....it changed how I view events and more importantly, changed my reaction to things.
Not long after, I remember reading a book (SUMO by Paul McGee) that covered the E+R=O midset which is essentially
Shut Up, Move on by Paul McGee
E (event) + R (reaction) = O (outcome) or in other words, how one reacts to life events directly influences their outcome or their outcome for you personally at least. Those two influences - NLP and E+R+=O have stayed with me and formed a foundation for everything, changing how I react to things and how I move forward after setbacks.
I am the first to admit that I dont always follow my own advice, I overreact, I get anxious, I overthink things but, once the dust has settled and I have allowed myself the space to process whatever is happening, I can usually find some peace, a way to come to terms with it.
If there was one piece of advice I would give anyone it would be to be kind to yourself. Extend the generosity to yourself and your mindset that you offer to others, find some peace, be gentle, accept it takes time and forgive yourself for past mistakes. Life is hard enough as it is without us all beating ourselves up all the time!
Peace may be five minutes out of your day to do one thing you love; walk, read, a bath, gardening - there is no right answer just find something that allows you to carve out a tiny slice of happiness every day. For me, happiness is like muscle memory - the more you try to find it, the more you learn to sooth yourself the easier your mind finds it.
Finding five minutes to 'make lemonade' when life has handed you a barrell full of lemons may sound trite or pretentious but a tiny oasis in a sea of chaos or pain can make the world of difference to how you cope with the remaining 23 hours and 55 minutes!